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Conquer Moving and Eliminate The Excess Baggage of Life

There is nothing quite like moving to remind you just how much stuff you have in the hidden corners of your home.  Things seem to procreate over time and that one small pile of papers to review on your desk now has another pile on the dining room table and yet another in the kitchen.   The task of sorting, organizing and purging can be overwhelming and might even provoke a disagreement or two with your spouse.

While moving is frustrating and is listed amongst the top life stressors, it can also be a time of purging your life from all of the excess stuff that has gathered.  The benefit of purging is a feeling of freedom from the responsibility to care for the stuff.  Oddly enough, our lives can become just as cluttered with excess activities, friendships, responsibilities or commitments and it too can use a good cleansing every now and then.  However, you must have a plan to attack either the stuff or the excess in your life.

Essential items.  The first items to identify in your move or your life are the essentials.  These are the things you need daily and cannot live without.  In a move it may be your toiletries, a favorite pot, a book you are reading or your computer.  In life it may be a hug from your kids, having quiet time, exercise or a favorite hobby.  Whatever it is put these items aside knowing that they are the most essential items you have.

Keepsake items.  Next comes the items that you love and want to keep but are not essential.  These are the things that you would miss if they were lost, would like to pass on to a family member, or deeply regret not having in the future.  In a move it may be your photo albums, a wedding dress, books, china, or a collection of baseball cards.  In life it may be an annual family reunion, a date with your children or spouse, a convention, or a commitment to work with the homeless.  The trick is keeping your keepsake items to a minimum as not to be adding too much to your plate after the essential items are established.  If you are not sure it is a keepsake, move on.

Throw-away items.  Now you are ready for the throw-away items which should be easier to identify once the essential and keepsake items are already sorted.  These are the items that you can really do without and drain your energy.  In a move it may be old tablecloths that you have not used in a while, old clothes that have not been worn in years, or old newspapers that are collecting dust.  In life it may be a charity that you are no longer passionate about, a hobby that you have lost interest in, or a friend that is more draining than helpful.  Don’t think too hard about these items, if your first instinct is to get rid of it than do it.

Repeat again and again.  Finally you are ready for the last step which is to repeat the first three steps over and over until everything is sorted.  Nothing should be left without a final decision as to which category it belongs.  In a move as in life it is important to analyze the things you are holding onto and examine them to see if your interests have changed.  As you get older, it is natural to have changing interests and your house as your life should reflect the change.

A move is time consuming but it is helpful to sort through all of the stuff that you have accumulated over the years.  Your life likewise accumulates responsibilities and commitments that may no longer reflect your interests.  Taking the time to purge your home and life of the excess items will free you to spend more time with the things that really matter and ultimately decrease your stress.

 

There is hope for your exhaustion.  Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.

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How Exhaustion Steals Joy

The Exhausted Woman's Handbook

The Exhausted Woman’s Handbook

Ginger wept when another woman said, “These are the happiest times of your life.” She desperately wanted to feel that way but as a new mother who worked a full-time job, joy escaped her. There was little she could do about her financial situation, she had to work. But she longed for the moments when she could just sit down and let her baby fall asleep on her. Instead, there were loads of laundry, bills to be paid, groceries to be bought, and a stack of paper from work to sort through. She was exhausted.

Ever felt that way? You want to be happy and joyful but you aren’t. Worse yet, you are afraid to admit it. After all, who would understand?

There are two kinds of exhaustion. One is physical from the demands of a busy overbooked schedule. The other is psychological due to unmet needs, expectations, ambitions, and hopes. It is compounded by tragedies, disappointments, rejections, and harsh realities. And it has encompassed nearly every aspect of your life including your ability to find joy.

Here are four ways exhaustion steals your joy:

  • Over-annoyed – Little things begin to set you off. People who can’t use their debit card fast enough at the checkout aisle or people who don’t know how to drive in the rain. You have such limited time. The thought that someone else would waste your time sends you over the edge. You would rather spend energy enjoying things instead of getting angry. But that is not what happens.
  • Over-apologetic – You say, “I’m sorry” when you are not really sorry just to move past a situation and on to the next one as quick as possible. You believe that this method saves time and reduces conflict but it has a side effect…increased guilt. The guilt comes from lying and allowing others to unnecessarily blame you for things that you are not responsible for.
  • Over-conscientious – You strive for perfectionism (calling it “high standards”). However your expectations for yourself are not consistent with the expectations you have for everyone else. This double standard borders on a view that somehow you are better than others and therefore more should be expected.
  • Over-dependable – You are so reliable that nearly everyone around you takes it for granted that you will get the job done, and you do. But at your expense. Instead of focusing on your priorities, you spend time cleaning up the mess of others. This increases resentment and bitterness.

There is hope for your exhaustion. It can be beat. Acknowledgment is the first step towards healing, the next is taking some new action. Try these suggestions:

  • Over-annoyed – Efforts to slow you down are not a conspiracy by others. Use these time-wasting minutes as an indication that you need to take a couple of deep breaths. Think about what brings you joy.
  • Over-apologetic – Stop saying, “I’m sorry.” If you make a mistake, say, “Will you forgive me” instead. This small change will keep you from apologizing for things you aren’t responsible for. The genuineness of asking for forgiveness when needed brings an internal peace.
  • Over-conscientious – Ask yourself, “Do I expect this from my best friend?” “No” answers are an indication that your expectations are disproportionate. Adjust your standards accordingly and feel an almost immediate reduction in stress.
  • Over-dependable – Saying “No” is difficult sometimes. Instead, say “Let me think about it” and give yourself 24 hours to make a decision. This small change gives your mind time to process your commitment. Anyone who is not willing to give you time to make a decision is pressuring you unnecessarily.

Don’t let exhaustion take over. You can have more joy in your life find freedom from your exhaustion.

 

For more tips, read Christine Hammond’s new book, The Exhausted Woman’s Handbook. You may purchase it at Xulon Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and iBooks. Or just click on the picture on the right.

Join us for a webinar and a FREE copy of the book.  For more information, click http://growwithchristine.wix.com/exhaustedhandbook

Repairing, restoring, and rebuilding relationships takes time, energy and effort.  If you find yourself needing more help during this process, please call our offices at 407-647-7005 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can send me a quick email at chammond@lifeworksgroup.org.